Mid - twenties

As I leave my mid-twenties and move towards the last few years in my twenties, I have been reflecting on the complexities being in your twenties bring. We often are told that our twenties are the years of your life where you should be hitting so many milestones. There is so much pressure for us to have met so many expectations that society, family and friends make. With the rise of social media, it is natural that we compare ourselves to others, amplifying the feeling that we are not where we are supposed to be. We often see others living out their dream life or buying a home at a young age, it is inevitable that we may feel as though we haven’t reached our own goals.

I have spent some time reflecting, I found that it is so important to notice the goals you have achieved, not matter how small they are. For me, instead of focusing on the goals I had wanted to achieve, I keep a mental list of everything I have achieved to get me where I am now. I went to university much later than most and since graduating I have felt as I am far behind most people my age. Most people I know who are in their late 20s are in a relationship, buying their first home or further along in their career progression. I have felt as if I should have done more with my life as I am a couple of years away from turning 30. The truth is, I have just had the best few years of my life. I completed university, ran two half marathons, moved to a new area and worked 20-30 hours whilst studying. I have met the most amazing people and have gone on so many lovely trips. Yet instead of focusing on those achievements, I have spent the last few months focusing on how I’m not living in the area I want to or that I have not made much progress on my dream career. I have started to reflect on why I have been focusing on these ‘shortcomings’- the idea that I am far behind is something I’m sure most of us feel. The constant comparison of those online, or even where our parents may have been at our age have distorted the reality of how well we are doing.

To compare ourselves to others is as useless as critiquing flowers in a medow; utterly pointless. If we view ourselves like the flowers in the medow, all different colours and growing at different rates. Yet each flower is beautiful and unique, all requiring different conditions to grow. It is a whimsical analogy, however it is fairly accurate. No two people are the same, yet we are insistent on comparing ourselves to each other. Although I have felt elated to have finished university, I have felt rather lost and uneasy. To stop this, I have decided to look at why I have achieved, whilst keeping no a list of what I am working towards. This way I have visual representation of how far I have come, to keep me in check whether I fall into the pattern of comparison. To keep a note of what I aspire to achieve helps me keep on track with my own life, staying in my own lane rather than than looking at others. It is important to remember that we are all in different financial situations, so to compare ourselves to where others are at is a disservice to ourselves.

Send some time noticing how often you compare yourself to others, who or what is the driving force behind the comparison. Maybe we should start focusing on what is truly important in our rather short short existence, rather than what we are told is important. I feel it is important that we are more open about how we feel in different stages of our lives, especially as are under increased amount of pressure to have every milestone checked off. I am sure I will still feel daunted at the prospect of turning 30, however it is also a privilege that some do not have.

So let this be a gentle reminder that you are not far behind, don’t overlook your personal growth or the way you continuously look after yourself.

Be kind to yourself, as I will remember to as well, love Beatrice x